My take on it goes like this:
Mike "ERT" Portnoy
5'6", 168lbs, righty (sometimes switches)
Facial hair - constantly changing
Vinnie "DOMINATION" Paul
5'7", 217lbs, righty
Facial hair - racing stripes with goatee
Round 1:
Vinnie Paul comes out strong in the first round with a flurry of heavy, blistering double bass patterns hoping to get it over with quickly.
MP counters with trading 2's and 4's that keep him in the fight.
Round 2:
VP keeps coming strong at MP with a brutal onslaught of pounding pocket thrash.
MP confuses VP just before the bell when he switches to a rapidly developing pattern that alternates between 7/8 and 19/16.
VP is saved by the bell.
Round 3:
VP seems to be fading a bit as MP continues to confuse him with moves such as "The Shrink and Grow" and "The Instrumedley".
Suddenly VP makes a comeback with his patented move called "Bass Blast from Becoming Beats Your Balls Bloody"
This time it's MP that gets saved by the bell.
Round 4:
FINAL ROUND
Despite his strong showing at the end of the 3rd round, VP is obviously winded now and Portnoy takes control. VP tries to keep pouding away, but MP does "The Dance of Eternity" and avoids the heavy blows.
MP continues to pepper VP with bits and blasts of Prog Power.
VP still somehow holds his own, despite the complex and confusing patterns thrown at him by MP.
DING DING DING DING The decision goes to the judges:
The MP forum scores the bout 7,000 to 1 for MP.
The Pantera/Damageplan contigent scores it 1,000,000 to 0 for VP.
The Modern Drummer polls score the fight 2,000,000 to 1,000,000 for MP.
Final results:
MP - 2,007,000
VP - 2,000,001
The winner by a margin of 6,999
Michael "ERT" Portnoy! P.S. - I suck.