Real life Beavis?

RE: Real life Beavis? (Lukes Wall)

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 00:22:04 GMT

ORIGINAL: los monster

but we wants to hear stories of meth addiction, we wants it!

You Are What You Is - Frank Zappa

Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
(A cow don't make ham . . . )
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis

A foolish young man
From a middle class fam'ly
Started singin' the blues
'Cause he thought it was manly
Now he talks like the Kingfish
("Saffiiiee!")
From Amos 'n Andy
("Holy mack'l dere . . . Holy mack'l dere!")
He tells you that chitlins . . .
(Chitlins!)
Well, they taste just like candy
He thinks that he's got
De whole thang down
From the Nivea Lotion
To de Royal Crown

Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
(A cow don't make ham . . . )
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis

A foolish young man
Of the Negro Persuasion
Devoted his life
To become a caucasian
He stopped eating pork
He stopped eating greens
He traded his dashiki
("Uhuru!")
For some Jordache Jeans
He learned to play golf
An' he got a good score
Now he says to himself
"I AIN'T NO N***** NO MORE . . . HEY! HEY! HEY!"
"I don't understand you . . . "
BWANA MA-COO-BAH
"Would you please speak more clearly . . . "
MERCEDES BAINNNNNNNZ

Who is who
(I don't know . . . )
'N what is what
(Somethin' I just don't know . . . )
'N why is this
(Tell me now . . . )
Appropriot
(That's a funny pronunciation if'n ever I heard one . . . )
If you don't like
(Where'd you get that word?)
What you has got
(Appropriot? The word is not . . . )
Drop it in the dirt
(Drop it yeah . . . )
'N let it rot
(I can smell it now . . . )
Someone else
(Here de come, here de come . . . )
Will surely come
(I told you they was comin')
'N pick it up
(That's right!)
'Cause he wants some
(An' he wants it for free . . . )
And when one day
(There will come a day . . . )
You wonder who
(I wonder too . . . )
You used to was
(Who I was anyway . . . )
'N what you do
(I used to work at the post office . . . )
You'll scratch your head
(But I don't wanna un-do my doo . . . )
'N look around
(Just to see what's goin' on . . . )
But what you lost
(Can't seem to find it . . . )
Will not be found
(A Mercedes Benz . . . )

Do you know what you are?
(I know . . . )
You are what you is
(I'm the kinda guy . . . )
You is what you am
(That ought to be drivin' . . . )
A cow don't make a ham
(A four-fifty SLC . . . )
You ain't what you're not
(A big ol' red one . . . )
So see what you got
(With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk . . . )
You are what you is
(I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin' . . . )
An' that's all it is
(Gimme a five dollar bill . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(And an overcoat too . . . )
AND THAT'S ALL IT IS
(Where's my waitress? Yeah . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(Robbie, take me to Greek Town . . . )
AN THAT'S ALL IT IS
(I'm harder than yer husband; harder than yer husband . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club y'all . . . )
AN THAT'S ALL IT IS
(I'm goin' down 'n work the wall 'n work the floor . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
('N work the pipe 'n work the wall . . . )
AN THAT'S ALL IT IS
(Some more . . . )

RE: Real life Beavis? (elusivesolution)

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 00:08:35 GMT

ORIGINAL: WakefulSleep

[Off-topic] Nice avatar, ES! [/Off-topic]

That forehead is something to be proud of.

Why thank you, I made it myself :P

RE: Real life Beavis? (DreamTheater36)

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 00:04:58 GMT

that is too funny

RE: Real life Beavis? (los monster)

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 00:01:30 GMT

by Wey

...I watched meth turn him into a freak.. We won't go into it here as it's not appropriate...

but we wants to hear stories of meth addiction, we wants it!

RE: Real life Beavis? (WakefulSleep)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 23:25:22 GMT

[Off-topic] Nice avatar, ES! [/Off-topic]

That forehead is something to be proud of.

RE: Real life Beavis? (elusivesolution)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 23:07:17 GMT

Holy shit! That's hilarious, I showed it to my mother and sister promptly

RE: Real life Beavis? (Weymolith)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 22:27:33 GMT

Actually it's called meth addiciton. When I first met Chris (he was my neighbor for 7 years) he was perfectly normal.. For lack of a better word. I watched meth turn him into a freak.. We won't go into it here as it's not appropriate.. But lets' just say 'the boy ain't right' no more.

RE: Real life Beavis? (TheAnalogKid)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 22:19:42 GMT

Actually, his condition is probably caused by what is commonly called "water on the brain". Usually, suffered during infancy. Those with this condition go through life being called "light bulb head" and the like. They also can and do have learning disabilities.

The dude that lived next to me in college had it. Felt sorry for the guy, he had it rough. But, he never wore womens clothes!

Really, now that I think about it, what's wrong with that?

RE: Real life Beavis? (Big Suave)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 19:49:18 GMT

ORIGINAL: Weymolith

Believe it or not. This was a friend of one of my roommates and he used to come over all the time. Ask Kat, she'll remember "Crazy Chris"

No freaking way?!?

That's CLASSIC!!!

RE: Real life Beavis? (Big Suave)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 19:47:52 GMT

ORIGINAL: joeclark4725

The links in that thread dont work anymore, so its not a complete suavination hehe

LOL... yeah, I agree. Only a partial Suavination for you, sir. Feel free to carry on with the current thread without fear of further Suavination from me.

RE: Real life Beavis? (paranoid70)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 16:57:44 GMT

ORIGINAL: Weymolith

Believe it or not. This was a friend of one of my roommates and he used to come over all the time. Ask Kat, she'll remember "Crazy Chris"

I believe it.

RE: Real life Beavis? (oxycontin)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 16:51:27 GMT

that guy's sitting on a gold mine in advertising space.

RE: Real life Beavis? (DaNcEr Of EtErNiTy)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 16:27:24 GMT

ORIGINAL: yesrushdt

ROFLMAO!!!!!...and truly rolling on the floor

RE: Real life Beavis? (Weymolith)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 16:26:13 GMT

Believe it or not. This was a friend of one of my roommates and he used to come over all the time. Ask Kat, she'll remember "Crazy Chris"

RE: Real life Beavis? (joeclark4725)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 16:22:30 GMT

ORIGINAL: Big Suave

Haven't done one of these in a while now...

*COUGH*

http://www.mikeportnoy.com/forum/tm.aspx?m=392043

Not sure if the links in the other thread are still good, though. Regardless, this was hilarious then, and it's hilarious now.

The links in that thread dont work anymore, so its not a complete suavination hehe

RE: Real life Beavis? (Dreamster)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 15:15:03 GMT

rofl, he even has that remarkable underbite.

RE: Real life Beavis? (yesrushdt)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 14:52:25 GMT

RE: Real life Beavis? (kidgloves2)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 14:45:18 GMT

Anyone have that pic of Bush and Cheney turned into Bevis and Butthead?

RE: Real life Beavis? (VaiRhoads)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 14:28:11 GMT

wow, what team is he on? Giants? Yankees? Orioles?

Sean

RE: Real life Beavis? (Rifugium)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 14:11:47 GMT

huh huh huh ... spitting ... huh huh huh

RE: Real life Beavis? (skipfierce)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 14:01:55 GMT

Holy Crap!

RE: Real life Beavis? (Big Suave)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 14:01:33 GMT

Haven't done one of these in a while now...

*COUGH*

http://www.mikeportnoy.com/forum/tm.aspx?m=392043

Not sure if the links in the other thread are still good, though. Regardless, this was hilarious then, and it's hilarious now.

RE: Real life Beavis? (yesrushdt)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 13:53:50 GMT

The resemblance is uncanny.

RE: Real life Beavis? (mr.snruB)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 13:42:40 GMT

i bet he'd look like a conehead with no hair

RE: Real life Beavis? (DTD)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 12:41:51 GMT

I swear I see landing lights on that forehead.

RE: Real life Beavis? (Erotified)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 12:39:14 GMT

Woah! You posted a picture of Wannabeerokka on MP.com!

RE: Real life Beavis? (Tabs)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 12:36:11 GMT

HAHAHAHAHA!

RE: Real life Beavis? (Luxor)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 12:33:53 GMT

that is truly something special

RE: Real life Beavis? (los monster)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 12:29:59 GMT

that ain't no forehead, that's a fivehead.

RE: Real life Beavis? (Twiddlenutz)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 11:14:33 GMT

Someone hook this guy up with Henry earl!

RE: Real life Beavis? (AstronautEd)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 11:03:12 GMT

Woah. I thought I had a big forehead...

"Uuhhh...Shut up, buttmunch!"

RE: Real life Beavis? (icepick3383)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 10:59:25 GMT

LMFAO!

RE: Real life Beavis? (Progmetalman)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 10:38:39 GMT

Foreheads aren't supposed to be that big on real humans.

Real life Beavis? (joeclark4725)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 10:35:44 GMT

http://www.oregonlive.com/weblogs/print.ssf?/mtlogs/olive_oddblog/archives/print012411.html