Due to the annual April Fool's Day post that always shows up at http://toolshed.down.net, I checked the site out for the first time in months to see this:

[04/01/05] - Completely unexpected

I have no idea how to introduce this, so I'll just post it. This is an email Maynard (the real one) sent in moments ago:

"hi, kabir. i thought it only fair to inform you first, before you hear it second or third hand. some recent events have led me to the rediscovery of jesus. tool will need to take the back seat. this may come as a shock. i just thought you should know considering all the support you given us over the years.
all my faith. maynard."

This is an actual email from actual MJK. I was going to type up a post about how the RIAA had sent us a letter shutting down The Tool Page (as this year's annual April Fools' Day joke), but now I just don't think it seems appropriate. More on this as it develops. §

(http://toolshed.down.net/news/)

I became even more suspicious when I went over to the official site and saw this:

31 Mar 05

REMEMBER, DON”T KILL THE MESSENGER
You know the old saying, “no news is good news”, well… that was the case as far as the recording process was going for the new Tool CD, but now things may have changed a bit. Yesterday, when I went to the studio to give Maynard a bottle of wine (a 1992 Maya) for winning the bet that I had with him involving his new film “Sleeping Dogs Lie” (I lost by default, not being able to attend the Sedona screening), not only wasn’t Maynard there, but, in what seems to be a case of enantiodromia (something becoming its opposite) if ever there was one (!), I was told the reason why he wasn’t there. I wish this post was dated April 1, but, unfortunately, it isn’t. Like a doctor giving a patient a straight, honest answer to a medical diagnosis, without sugar-coating the truth, here’s exactly what I was told: “Maynard has found Jesus.” This will come as a complete shock to most (but not all) of you, as it did to me. In fact, it just seemed like another MJK prank until I talked to the one person who I believe would know if all this was legit or not. After nearly an hour on the phone with this person, the answer I received was that Maynard has indeed “found Jesus” and that, for this reason, he’s abandoned the project for the time being, if not entirely. I don’t know what the f**k is in the water these days, but hopefully a black jelly belly will turn up in that golden bowl… that’s all I can think to say at this point. Before leaving the studio, I watched as Danny made arrangements to go play some golf, while Adam and Justin kept working on a particular song. So, in case you missed it (those who don’t read the whole post), here’s today's news: Maynard has found Jesus…

(http://toolband.com/index_frames.html)

As it is, I'm taking this "news" as fact. While I am a bit surprised at this, I'm not at all preturbed. Religion to me is a very personal thing, and if Maynard is happy through his rediscovery of Jesus, then hey, it's all good. My only concern is how it will affect Tool's music, if at all.

Thoughts?

http://www.last.fm/user/becomethesea

Will it affect Tool's music?

"Come down off your fucking cross, we need some space to nail up the next fool martyr."

Yeah, I think maybe Tool will sound a little different from now on. Sorry to all you hardcore Tool fans about that, as I'm sure I misquoted it a bit.

... Anyway, I highly doubt this is true. But if it is, then I must be a prophet, because last night I made a joke to a friend about Tool becoming a Christian band.

I'm just a rock 'n' roll clown, doin' lots o' cocaine.

I find this to be hiiiighly unlikely but I guess stranger things have happened. I don't know anything about Maynard's interests but Danny Carey seems to be pretty interested in the occult and I'm sure the other members of TOOL have some shared interest.

Oh well, I'm a Christian so to me it wouldn't be bad news if it is true but I think it's just a gag.

"Music...is my life."-Choptop http://www.myspace.com/johnrmyersiii

I still call BS.

BS

The car is on fire,
And there's no driver at the wheel.
And the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides,
And a dark wind blows.

.......................

BS.

The only way to live is to die while you're alive.

http://www.mikeportnoy.com/forum/tm.aspx?m=810711

Welcome to yesterday.

ORIGINAL: Del Fuvio Monk

http://www.mikeportnoy.com/forum/tm.aspx?m=810711

Welcome to yesterday.

nard has indeed “found Jesus” and that, for this reason, he’s abandoned the project for the time being, if not entirely. I don’t know what the f**k is in the water these days, but hopefully a black jelly belly will turn up in that golden bowl… that’s all I can think to say at this point. Before leaving the studio, I watched as Danny made arrangements to go play some golf, while Adam and Justin kept working on a particular song. S

OH MY YOU GUYS GOT

d

No wonder the music he's been doing has been getting progressively suckier over the past couple years...

Check out my MYSPACE!

Damn... I wish someone would buy Jesus a map. He keep getting lost.

I changed my avatar...

That's Loki, my uber-super Kittie. :)

ORIGINAL: Xaem

No wonder the music he's been doing has been getting progressively suckier over the past couple years...

As for this thread topic, I find the timing of this announcment to be suspect and if an april fools joke is commonplace, I'd wait this one out and see....I mean, one would stand to reason that if it was real they would probably wait an extra day to spring the news....but if it is true....good for him.

As for the above quote....you about to get KEITHK'd son. Your attempt at humour was asinine on several different levels. I'll be more than happy to point this out for you. First of all, basically the statement you made is what is called a "generality". All ______are________! These statements are never true. Now you didn't use the word "all", but sometimes you don't have to to convey that meaning. Basically what you are saying is that musicians who have a faith do not play as well as musicians that do. That statement is dumb.

Secondly and most importantly...if you are familiar with Tool or A Perfect Circle you would be aware that Maynard James Keenan is the vocalist of these two bands. He sings.....and he writes lyrics. He doesn't play an instrument. You see, the guitar player, the bass player and the drummer....they do that....if you go to one of their concerts you'll notice that Maynard runs around the stage holding a microphone. There are other guys on the stage and you can just call them "the rest of the band"...those are the guys that play the music and write the music. That fact alone stands to refute your above statement. Thanks for playing!

"700 miles from North Carolina for you Dream Theater. You guys fucking Rock!" Me...in the DT DVD and stuff.

ORIGINAL: KeithK

ORIGINAL: Xaem

No wonder the music he's been doing has been getting progressively suckier over the past couple years...

As for this thread topic, I find the timing of this announcment to be suspect and if an april fools joke is commonplace, I'd wait this one out and see....I mean, one would stand to reason that if it was real they would probably wait an extra day to spring the news....but if it is true....good for him.

As for the above quote....you about to get KEITHK'd son. Your attempt at humour was asinine on several different levels. I'll be more than happy to point this out for you. First of all, basically the statement you made is what is called a "generality". All ______are________! These statements are never true. Now you didn't use the word "all", but sometimes you don't have to to convey that meaning. Basically what you are saying is that musicians who have a faith do not play as well as musicians that do. That statement is dumb.

Secondly and most importantly...if you are familiar with Tool or A Perfect Circle you would be aware that Maynard James Keenan is the vocalist of these two bands. He sings.....and he writes lyrics. He doesn't play an instrument. You see, the guitar player, the bass player and the drummer....they do that....if you go to one of their concerts you'll notice that Maynard runs around the stage holding a microphone. There are other guys on the stage and you can just call them "the rest of the band"...those are the guys that play the music and write the music. That fact alone stands to refute your above statement. Thanks for playing!

Um, k?
Well I'm still right, so cool!

Check out my MYSPACE!

No your not right. You said, "No wonder..." directly attatching his being a christian to the suckiness of the music. Which is also YOUR OPINION.

Now, this is recent news. So saying no wonder doesn't apply to what you put it to simply because this wasn't the circumstances during those albums. So, you are wrong.

Also, if John Myung is what most of us have gathered from his statments for years, indeed a christian, then that too proves you are wrong because his first statements suggesting that were before or during A Change Of Seasons. Has his playing and writing gotten suckier if that was a time where he may have, "found Jesus?"

If you are right about thier albums getting progressivly suckier, then you are right to you. Not to fact. And you suggesting that being a christian makes you suckier at music I suggest you give Bach a listen. Yeah, he's considered the founder of what we teach in schools today as being "Classical Theory." His works are considered among the finest pieces of music ever written and not only that, many hymns are taught in colleges around the world as being among the finest pieces of music ever written as well.

So, it's not cool! as you say. The statment was closed, and small minded. Unless I'm just totally missing what you are "Right" about. If I am, you need to not say something that says exactly something other than what you want to say.

Kevin Wale
Look ma... I'm playin guitar on the interent!
Bipolar Echo
enduvus

ORIGINAL: mesavox

No your not right. You said, "No wonder..." directly attatching his being a christian to the suckiness of the music. Which is also YOUR OPINION.

Now, this is recent news. So saying no wonder doesn't apply to what you put it to simply because this wasn't the circumstances during those albums. So, you are wrong.

Also, if John Myung is what most of us have gathered from his statments for years, indeed a christian, then that too proves you are wrong because his first statements suggesting that were before or during A Change Of Seasons. Has his playing and writing gotten suckier if that was a time where he may have, "found Jesus?"

If you are right about thier albums getting progressivly suckier, then you are right to you. Not to fact. And you suggesting that being a christian makes you suckier at music I suggest you give Bach a listen. Yeah, he's considered the founder of what we teach in schools today as being "Classical Theory." His works are considered among the finest pieces of music ever written and not only that, many hymns are taught in colleges around the world as being among the finest pieces of music ever written as well.

So, it's not cool! as you say. The statment was closed, and small minded. Unless I'm just totally missing what you are "Right" about. If I am, you need to not say something that says exactly something other than what you want to say.

Word! Appreciate the assist!

"700 miles from North Carolina for you Dream Theater. You guys fucking Rock!" Me...in the DT DVD and stuff.

bs

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.

ORIGINAL: TerrasCreation

bs

What's a prokchop?

if you go to one of their concerts you'll notice that Maynard runs around the stage holding a microphone

To be fair, Maynard doesn't run around. He stays pretty much stationary.
Anyway, I'm callin BS on this. Toolshed.down.net is known for posting a gag on April Fools Day, even when there hadn't been a post in months. I suspect Kabir (the webmaster of t.d.n) got Blair (webmaster of toolband.com) to go in on this little joke with him (or vice versa).
But if it's true, I'm curious to hear what they'll do, as they have some pretty Anti-Xtian sentiment in their songs (ie Opiate, Eulogy)

ORIGINAL: Xaem

No wonder the music he's been doing has been getting progressively suckier over the past couple years...

That comment was asinine. Being that this a public forum I cant do anything about it. But if someone were to make that comment to me in front of me, I would probably assure that, that person couldnt smell for a while.

someone say something funny, i need a sig

Damn it, I really hope this isn't true. If it is Maynard will probably leave the band and then there will be no more Tool and ho chance of a new album...

They say that life's a carousel, spinning fast you've got to ride it well. The world is filled with kings and queens, who blind your eyes and steal your dreams, It's Heaven and Hell!

As I said on the other thread, Eulogy is about scientology and L. Ron Hubbard.

ORIGINAL: mesavox

No your not right. You said, "No wonder..." directly attatching his being a christian to the suckiness of the music. Which is also YOUR OPINION.

Now, this is recent news. So saying no wonder doesn't apply to what you put it to simply because this wasn't the circumstances during those albums. So, you are wrong.

Also, if John Myung is what most of us have gathered from his statments for years, indeed a christian, then that too proves you are wrong because his first statements suggesting that were before or during A Change Of Seasons. Has his playing and writing gotten suckier if that was a time where he may have, "found Jesus?"

If you are right about thier albums getting progressivly suckier, then you are right to you. Not to fact. And you suggesting that being a christian makes you suckier at music I suggest you give Bach a listen. Yeah, he's considered the founder of what we teach in schools today as being "Classical Theory." His works are considered among the finest pieces of music ever written and not only that, many hymns are taught in colleges around the world as being among the finest pieces of music ever written as well.

So, it's not cool! as you say. The statment was closed, and small minded. Unless I'm just totally missing what you are "Right" about. If I am, you need to not say something that says exactly something other than what you want to say.

Yea, well I didn't say it wasn't an opinion. I didn't say it was because he was christian, I was very general in my statement. You guys are assuming a lot.

I think you guys are overanalyzing my statement. Please read on if you want to reply...

His music has been getting progressively different, and I just saw something like this in store for the future - "like this" being something that would further push back and slow down the creativity and quality of stuff he's done. You can disagree with me as much as you want, but you can't disagree with the FACT that his new set of higher priorities will affect Tool stuff.

But yea, go ahead and beat me down about my generality. I mean that's why we're here, right? =)

I AM right, by the way. I wasn't joking about his music getting worse, so it wasn't asinine humor, nor was it an ATTEMPT at humor. Even if the rest of the band writes the music, the music he's part of is still getting worse. Hopefully he will prove me wrong by releasing a hell of a new Tool album, but the fact that he has now found jesus makes me kinda wonder.

Finding faith changes people on several different levels. This may have some relation to the changing of his music altogether.

Either way, maybe I should have just explained myself better so you guys wouldn't be so fast to shoot me down, but you're allowed to. From my experience most of the APC fans liked the new APC album and the eMotive stuff, and I really didn't. I thought the change was so drastic. It's what kills bands for me.

So yes, I stand by the statement I made. I'm not as ignorant as you may think. But I'm still young, so you never know.

Check out my MYSPACE!

ORIGINAL: Lukes Wall

As I said on the other thread, Eulogy is about scientology and L. Ron Hubbard.

Tool songs that are about what they seem to be about at first glance are few and far between. There are even some songs that I believe had three or four possible "intended interpretations" as they were written.

I call BS on this, too, but if it somehow turns out to be true and the band stays together, they will likely not cut any songs from shows.

Bad joke: The other day, my keyboard player dropped his keyboard squarely on my crotch, so I punched him in the face. Now my pianist hurts.

Xaem... you still haven't explained how the comment directly related to the topic of the thread that said "No wonder" isn't relating to the idea that because he is a christian his music directly resulted in being of less quality.

You even reitterated it in your last post that his finding Jesus would cause his work to suffer. That is an idiodic statement at best.

All I see in your last post is you digging a deeper hole and continuing to say very untrue statement backing them up wiht "I am right." Good for you if you think so, but you are not right to me or plenty of other people. You are also not right that his faith affected past work if this is indeed new news because it wasn't a factor back then.

You are right in your opinion that thier music has gotten worse. You are not right in someone's opinion that their music has gotten better, or stayed the same.

Your comment wasn't asinine humour... it was just asinine. Period. You stand by your statement that being a christian makes one a worse musician... I'll stand by mine that it's an idiodic and false statement and indeed regaurd you for the time being as ignorant as to what being a christian has to do on any leval with being a musician.

Kevin Wale
Look ma... I'm playin guitar on the interent!
Bipolar Echo
enduvus

tool does april fools stuff every year.

ORIGINAL: WakefulSleep

ORIGINAL: Lukes Wall

As I said on the other thread, Eulogy is about scientology and L. Ron Hubbard.

Tool songs that are about what they seem to be about at first glance are few and far between. There are even some songs that I believe had three or four possible "intended interpretations" as they were written.

On an interview for an underground magazine (my words):

Interviewer: Eulogy was written by Maynard about Christ and Christianity in general?

Danny Carey: No, it's about L. Ron Hubbard.

What I don't understand is how come whenever a musician finds God or what not, he has to leave his band?

Jigsaw pattern
Dominoes left a trail
The whites of their eyes
Polaroids of the tale

ORIGINAL: AtTheDriveIn

What I don't understand is how come whenever a musician finds God or what not, he has to leave his band?

Unless you're Raffi, music is the language of the devil!!!!

So, does anyone actually know yet whether or not this "news" is true?

I'd just like to know for the welfare of the band.

http://www.last.fm/user/becomethesea

I call shens.

ORIGINAL: Lukes Wall

ORIGINAL: WakefulSleep

ORIGINAL: Lukes Wall

As I said on the other thread, Eulogy is about scientology and L. Ron Hubbard.

Tool songs that are about what they seem to be about at first glance are few and far between. There are even some songs that I believe had three or four possible "intended interpretations" as they were written.

On an interview for an underground magazine (my words):

Interviewer: Eulogy was written by Maynard about Christ and Christianity in general?

Danny Carey: No, it's about L. Ron Hubbard.

I'm sorry, I wasn't very clear on what I was referring to. I was actually backing you. Someone said that some Tool's songs are about Christianity. As far as I know, there are no Tool songs (possibly excepting Opiate, I'm not sure) that are anti-Christianity.

Bad joke: The other day, my keyboard player dropped his keyboard squarely on my crotch, so I punched him in the face. Now my pianist hurts.

ORIGINAL: Universal mind

I call shens.

555-658-5896

I think it is April Fools..... but there have been a couple posts assuming that if Maynard did turn Christian his music would start to suck. That is a very narrowminded assumption; Guys like Neal Morse put most secular song writers to shame!

http://www.myspace.com/terrierspace

Guys like Neal Morse put most secular song writers to shame!

And there it is...not suprised someone brought this up.

Transatlantic - April 18th, Palace of Fine Arts-San Francisco ...see you there
www.arf.net - helping homeless animals http://www.myspace.com/28drums

ORIGINAL: mesavox

Xaem... you still haven't explained how the comment directly related to the topic of the thread that said "No wonder" isn't relating to the idea that because he is a christian his music directly resulted in being of less quality.

You even reitterated it in your last post that his finding Jesus would cause his work to suffer. That is an idiodic statement at best.

All I see in your last post is you digging a deeper hole and continuing to say very untrue statement backing them up wiht "I am right." Good for you if you think so, but you are not right to me or plenty of other people. You are also not right that his faith affected past work if this is indeed new news because it wasn't a factor back then.

You are right in your opinion that thier music has gotten worse. You are not right in someone's opinion that their music has gotten better, or stayed the same.

Your comment wasn't asinine humour... it was just asinine. Period. You stand by your statement that being a christian makes one a worse musician... I'll stand by mine that it's an idiodic and false statement and indeed regaurd you for the time being as ignorant as to what being a christian has to do on any leval with being a musician.

I still think it's being a bit overanalyzed. I don't think christianity has anything to do with his level of musicianship. Neal Morse is an insanely good musician and I love his music and the same thing happened to him. Look at what it did to his band, though. Look at what it did to him as a person. It's the way he prioritized things, if he's goign to prioritize God over his music, and he DIDN'T before, it's going to CHANGE things. The fact of the matter is not whether the change is good or bad, it's the fact that the change is so great that it will affect listeners very heavily.

So yeah, if you want to say my opinion is wrong go ahead. But yes, I think his music has been getting progressively worse and if it turns out that this isn't a huge april fools joke, which is very unlikely, I would still think that the fact that he has changed in this way has obviated the fact that his music has changed as well. This didn't really happen with Neal Morse, for instance. He just began writing the same music and the same style that he had always written in, but for different purposes. Here I'm referring to a bigger change.

I don't know how well I can explain it without having interpretations being made from my first post. I think it's pretty general but yeah I was sure some religious people would get mad, I would if it were me, but I would've also let the opinion be had instead of ignorantly thinking I meant something quite seriously saying that all christians make shitty music. That's just not true.

Also it was partially made as a joke, but after looking at it I thought it held some truth. Interpret it how you think. If you think it's a joke and you don't think it's funny, you're allowed to think that, but I obviously got a kick out of it. I mean, doesn't it seem kinda odd that this happens at almost the same time as another big star? Oh well, it's kinda cute at best. Maynard is one of my favorite vocalists so seeing this would be pretty shocking to me, and yea I do think it'd explain how a lot of his music has changed. But the likelihood is low that it's true.

Where's Frank Zappa when you need him?

Check out my MYSPACE!

I think that many people who become a Christian later in life are unhappy with where they are so they look for something "higher." And many people find happiness in it and rather than dealing with their present and past they just kind of run from it pursue their newfound religion full tilt. While I can understand this because I myself am a Christian, I always have thought that fulling your obligations should be part of your new faith. Granted if Marilyn Manson found Jesus (a term that is kinda humorous, "finding") I think it would make sense for him to change his lifestyle.

That being said, I honestly don't think Maynard has become a Christian (this is just a guess of mine) and that he's just making a joke about it. If that's a case then I think it's pretty lame for him to do that. Plus I'm sure he knows that if he starts a rumor that big then people sure are going to be talking about A LOT which is great publicity for him, his side-projects, and Tool.

"Music...is my life."-Choptop http://www.myspace.com/johnrmyersiii

I think it is April Fools..... but there have been a couple posts assuming that if Maynard did turn Christian his music would start to suck. That is a very narrowminded assumption; Guys like Neal Morse put most secular song writers to shame!

I should have read the whole thing...I'm sorry ,I misread it the first time and thought it was more Neal bad criticisim

Transatlantic - April 18th, Palace of Fine Arts-San Francisco ...see you there
www.arf.net - helping homeless animals http://www.myspace.com/28drums

ORIGINAL: teststumper

Guys like Neal Morse put most secular song writers to shame!

And there it is...not suprised someone brought this up.

I strongly disagree, no disrespect to any of the musicianship on Morse's solo albums, but his new brand of lyrics are pretty damn boring.

To those who share my belief in the god (<--satyrically speaking) of randomness--

I just think it would be funny, to christians or non-christians, (but because i'm jerk, more-so the christians) who are obviously "politically correct" (amongst other forms of correctness) when they say that becoming christian doesn't effect your music, or anything quality related----if the new found christianity was really the reason why Maynard's music was getting suckier..

nothing like a good slap in the face..hehehe..

Trippy Music Videos

ORIGINAL: Firestorm

ORIGINAL: teststumper

Guys like Neal Morse put most secular song writers to shame!

And there it is...not suprised someone brought this up.

I strongly disagree, no disrespect to any of the musicianship on Morse's solo albums, but his new brand of lyrics are pretty damn boring.

Really. I always thought Neal's best lyrics were the ones that were more personal, and less overtly religious. They were silly, meant to be loosely interpreted, and not taken with an overzealous measure of seriousness. Think of the gospels.

Most great songwriters are people with serious cases of fuckuppedness. Drug addicts, alcoholics, manic-depressives, survivors of abuse, incest, or sexual assault. There's also a giant pantheon of disillusioned ex-Catholics and ex-Jews, but that's another story entirely.

I've got a wheel inside my head
a wheel of understanding
~Kyuss~