Bad Movie Lines & Logic

Monk

PetFish


So much hate for Star Wars!

I don't think 1-3 work well for us as adults cuz we've seen the originals and are a lot older/wiser/seasoned/etc and we've had 20 years to try and think about how we would want 1-3 to actually look like so with all that expectory pressure 1-3 were bound to fail.

I'm curious as to how I would feel about them if I were 8-10 and saw them for the first time.  That's how I want to show my kids eventually, 4-6, then 1-3 right afterwards, I wonder if it'll be a better experience for them.  Does anyone have kids and tried this and can give some feedback?  Do kids tend to like it (w/o adults bitching throughout the movie mind you) or do they not like it either?

I hope one day, or at least in his Will, Lucas finally allows other people to make new Star Wars movies w/o his input.  Really do something different and give them a kick in the ass re-imagining.

The odds are I would have like them if I was 8 or 10 but those are the years we just don't know any better. I remember like Knight Rider when I was little as well and now I cannot stand the show (another example of a kids show watched after growing up). Over time I have come to understand that Star Wars IV has just as bad dialogue as the prequels but there is a reason why IV, V and VI will always be superior and that alone goes to the characters. If you injected the same characters from I, II and III into IV, V and VI the OT would have probably been just as popular but would have received the same bitching the prequels get. It's the characters that made the OT stand the test of time and it's the character's in the prequels that make those movie utterly hard to watch. Also the storyline is much much more clear in the OT than in the Prequels, this is due to other writers. In the end Lucas really only failed on two points in the least that would have greatly improved the movie: cast better characters and get outside writers. If both of these issues were handled well I'm 99.999% certain we wouldn't hear all this hate on the prequels.

I know this post is a little old. I was 9 when I saw the Phantom Menace. Honestly, I loved it.
 
Being 21 (almost 22), I can say that I still enjoy the movies. Fact is, I grew up (all 9 years) watching Star Wars 4-6. Empire was my favorite, even as a kid. It still is my favorite. In fact, it's my 3rd favorite movie just under Godfather 1&2 and Gone With the Wind.  I totally understand the hate for Jar Jar, but when you're 9, it isn't so bad. I was more focused on the lightsabers.
 
If you guys ever get a chance, check out The People v. George Lucas. It is fantastic and will make you rethink the whole situation with Lucas. I'm not saying it favors either side, but it is really good. In fact, I know the director/creator actually despises the prequels, but I came out feeling for Lucas. 

I'm not sure if I can post it, but theres a video with 100 of the cheesiest movie lines. I just bust a gut laughing at one from Commando:
 
"You scared? This green beret is gonna kick your big ass!"
"I eat green berets for breakfast, and right now... i am... VERY hungry!"

havent seen the movie, only seen the youtube clip of a scene troll 2.

...??"They're eating her... and then they're going to eat me... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"
 

The Storm line from X-Men has always been my least favorite, because it's such a terrible line in an otherwise well done movie. When you think about it, I actually really don't think it's that bad of a line as much as it's terribly acted and executed. Had she been tearing shit up and just been crushing mofos throughout that scene, and paused and looked around at her destruction in the middle of the line, it'd be pretty damn awesome. As if to say "yeah you're Toad, cool story, bro, I'm Storm goddamnit!" but since she had been basically impotent up to that point and Halle Berry delivers it like she's forgotten what the hell she's talking about halfway through it's just a disaster.  Basically I'm just saying maybe that one's not the writer's fault entirely. 
 
Oh, and Star Wars has always been terrible. People pick on the prequels, but go take a subjective look at the original trilogy. It's cool to fantasize about being a Jedi or Han or what have you, but once you get past that, there's shitty logic and lines and cheesiness oozing from all 6 movies. 

Tutu

spikelineus


"I'm really wired...whaddya say I...take you home and eat your pussy?"

"You're Extinct, Fucker!"

that movie is filled with awesome amounts of failure.

 
My personal favorite:
"Mark 44 torpedo...it'll blow a hole clear through the hull of a battleship"
"WHAT ABOUT A SHARK?"

Might need a little help with this one. The line in question is from Kingdom of Heaven, one of my favorite movies, and it continues to confuse me over multiple viewings.
 
The peace-loving King Baldwin is dying, and a fragile peace with the Muslims hangs in the balance. In an effort to conclude his earthly affairs, the King has appointed the loyal Balian as commander of his army and asked him to take the hand of his sister Sibylla in marriage. Balian and Sibylla are in love, but Sibylla is already wed to Guy de Lusignan, a Templar leader who desires war with Saladin and the Muslims. King Baldwin informs Balian that marrying Sibylla will prevent Guy from seizing power through his sister and making war, and that any lack of allegiance by Guy will lead to his execution. Much to the dismay of Baldwin and Sibylla, Balian refuses the king's request, stating that he cannot allow his conscience to suffer such a course of action. Baldwin dies soon after, and Sibylla inherits the title of Queen of Jerusalem. Guy confronts Sibylla, seeking her decision on Baldwin's succession. Prefacing this by noting Sibylla seeks to keep the peace like her brother, this is what she says:
 
"If I have your knights, you have your wife."
 
Anyone care to take a shot at this?

Every Bollywood Action Movie!

portnoy311


The Storm line from X-Men has always been my least favorite, because it's such a terrible line in an otherwise well done movie. When you think about it, I actually really don't think it's that bad of a line as much as it's terribly acted and executed. Had she been tearing shit up and just been crushing mofos throughout that scene, and paused and looked around at her destruction in the middle of the line, it'd be pretty damn awesome. As if to say "yeah you're Toad, cool story, bro, I'm Storm goddamnit!" but since she had been basically impotent up to that point and Halle Berry delivers it like she's forgotten what the hell she's talking about halfway through it's just a disaster.  Basically I'm just saying maybe that one's not the writer's fault entirely. 

I know what you're saying is subjective but... I can't believe anyone is saying that line was awesome... but acted poorly.... Clint Eastwood, Sly Stallone, Meryl Streep, Denzel Washington, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt all could have delivered that line... and it woulda sucked horribly. Seriously.... I have to believe the only reason it's not the writers fault... is because someone else who read it didn't edit it out and it's his fault... but I cant imagine blaming that line on Halle Berry. 
 
Wasn't there this great line from Roadhouse... something about "Are you in pain? Paint don't hurt".

Just thought of another FSL...Favorite Stupid Line....
 
"Always winterize your pipes!!! " .......Mr. Freeze..

''I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum.''
*dramatic pause*
''And I'm all out of bubblegum.''

"Four Brothers" with Mark Wahlberg
 
After a 10 minute shootout in a residential neighborhood with automatic weapons and about 8-9 people shooting, one of the brothers gets shot and somebody yells 'Call 911'.

It does have a Porcupine Tree in it though.

20th Century Icon


I'm always irritated by any tortured cliche.  It just smacks of a lazy screenwriter phoning it in, or thinking the audience are a bunch of morons who won't notice that it's been said about eight hundred million times before.  The one that I always hate is, "I'm getting too old for this shit," which has been uttered in the Lethal Weapon movies among many others. 

I see that as some sort of running gag. As in the Star Wars movies with the line 'I have a bad feeling about this'. Comes back every movie, always another character saying the line. If my memory doesn't deceive me, Harrison Ford said it as well in one of the Indiana Jones movies.

DougMasters

portnoy311


The Storm line from X-Men has always been my least favorite, because it's such a terrible line in an otherwise well done movie. When you think about it, I actually really don't think it's that bad of a line as much as it's terribly acted and executed. Had she been tearing shit up and just been crushing mofos throughout that scene, and paused and looked around at her destruction in the middle of the line, it'd be pretty damn awesome. As if to say "yeah you're Toad, cool story, bro, I'm Storm goddamnit!" but since she had been basically impotent up to that point and Halle Berry delivers it like she's forgotten what the hell she's talking about halfway through it's just a disaster.  Basically I'm just saying maybe that one's not the writer's fault entirely. 

I know what you're saying is subjective but... I can't believe anyone is saying that line was awesome... but acted poorly.... Clint Eastwood, Sly Stallone, Meryl Streep, Denzel Washington, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt all could have delivered that line... and it woulda sucked horribly. Seriously.... I have to believe the only reason it's not the writers fault... is because someone else who read it didn't edit it out and it's his fault... but I cant imagine blaming that line on Halle Berry. 

Wasn't there this great line from Roadhouse... something about "Are you in pain? Paint don't hurt".

That whole X-men line was supposed to have been a gag - she lifts him up or whatever, and says all menacingly "do you know what happens when a TOAD gets struck by lightning?!"  and the line was supposed to have been delivered with her falling out of her power for a second, her eyes start to come back to normal, and she kinda shrugs it off, actually realizing she doesn't have a good end to her 'cool X-men line' - she shrugs and says sort of ironically "uh... same thing that happens to everything else!" 
 
oh well :)  I think this is why Joss Whedon (who wrote the line - think 'Firefly' when you hear it next time) is directing all the stuff he writes...

"I don't know where to start except at the beginning" - Psycho
 
LOL

senor_valasco


"I don't know where to start except at the beginning" - Psycho

LOL

Er? You don't watch many "police" or "detective" shows from the 50's, 60's and 70's do ya?

I remembered a great one. Saw 3D, the fish-hook trap.
 
Basic synopsis: Woman is stuck with spikes pointing towards her throat, and a string going into her mouth, which goes into her stomach, with a fish-hook and key attached to the end. Another guy has to pull it out of her mouth to get the key to unlock her, and there's a sound sensor in the room that makes the spikes get closer to her throat every time she makes noise above a whisper.
 
Obviously she dies since she screams her head off, and the guys reaction?

"All you had to do was shut the fuck up! Why wouldn't you shut the fuck up?!"
 
I mean, WOW. 

I don't like it when movies over-explain things. 
 
Like on Castaway, which is a pretty good movie, but Tom Hanks is constantly talking to himself and Wilson so that the audience will know what he's thinking. And toward the beginning of his time on the island, when he falls asleep in the cave and leaves the flashlight on, we all thought about the battery running down already. It wasn't necessary to do the slow, dramatic zoom in on the flashlight.
 
I prefer movies like that to wisely use silence as a tool for building atmosphere and suspense. See Antonioni's The Passenger and Blow-up, and anything by Sergio Leone.