Vince Schlomi, ShamWOW pitchman, arrested for battering hooker!

The Story

This guy is pretty amazing. I LOL'd pretty hard reading the story while watching the Shamwow and Slapchop spots.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html

This has his mugshot, among other things.


Also, I lol'd pretty hard too.

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I bet you he gets off easy, just because he's a "celebrity." Maybe just a SlapChop on the wrists.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and... uh, ruin a stupid anecdote. I think that's how it goes...

Yeah, I saw that earlier today.  You don't want to see anybody in a violent situation like that but because it is him it's just way too funny.  I couldn't see Billy Mays doing that shit.

When I read this yesterday on another site, the replies in that thread reached epic proportions with over 450 replies in less than a few hours. Many of the responses were pure gold. Needless to say it kept me entertained for most of the evening online.

"I'm in a glass case of emotion."

Man, this has to be one of the funniest things I've seen in a while.

"You're gonna love my nuts."

--SlapChop Infomercial

hahaha oh man this is a fantastic story. Just another case of when getting a hooker goes bad!

“Mr. Zawinul, I was at the concert. It was OK. By the way, let me introduce myself. My name is John Francis Pastorius III, I’m the greatest bass player in the world.” -Jaco Pastorius
 

One of the latenight college talkshows here put together an absolutely brilliant mix of the audio from the Shamwow commercial and some of Dennis Hopper's more "intense" moments from Blue Velvet last night. 

The SlapChop ad is one of the funniest things I've ever seen... soooo ridiculous.

Wonderland


"You're gonna love my nuts."

--SlapChop Infomercial

I bet HE's gonna love THOSE nuts...

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Lol, he looks like such a deadbeat in those mug shots.  You have to wonder why a prostitute would do something like bite a dude's tongue when she's getting paid $1,000 for the deal...

This shit is SO funny.

Guess he didnt use his shamwow to wipe up the hooker's blood!

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Came here to see or post this pic if necessary. LOL!

Billy Mays already called out Vince on the Adam Corrolla show last month for stealing one of his products. I like Vince a lot but when Billy Mays talks people listen.

this made my week..................  i pisssed myself... nearly

Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face.... After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the [hotel] lobby

Try to wipe that up with ShamWOW

"We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free."
-Bill Hicks

The guy makes two infomercials and he's popping for thousand dollar hookers? Either those Shamwow's are selling like gangbusters or dude's got himself a little side gig somewhere.

My question is who KISSES a prostitute?

 ....

" Dream' s transport the one' s who need to get out of town." - Neil Peart

SLAP CHOP BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!!

" Dream' s transport the one' s who need to get out of town." - Neil Peart

I needed this today, thank you

Buffalo Bill is defunct Jesus he was a handsome man
He used to ride on a white horse and shoot clay pigeons
1,2,3,4,5 just like that and what I want to know is how do you like your blue eyed boy now, Mister Death?"

lmao at the mugshot, I thought it was Rich Hall


"You're gonna LOVE my nuts"  :')

I guess Vinny Boy,  just ended his "15 minutes"! What a stupid idiot!!!!

Wow!

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FRENCH KISSING A PROSTITUTE??


I feel sick.

"He's such a perfectionist. Such a fucking monster musician."  - Geddy Lee on Neil Peart

His face reminds me of a raptor from Jurassic Park.

Haha! He does kind of look raptor-like.

Maybe he can use one of those shamwows to wipe the blood off his face, the use the slap chop to castrate himself?

djmetalhead


 the use the slap chop to castrate himself?

"I'm in a glass case of emotion."

*Waits for someone to call it Bitchslap Chop...*

STRAT


I guess Vinny Boy,  just ended his "15 minutes"! What a stupid idiot!!!!

It seems like his 15 minutes are just beginning.  I have a feeling he's gonna be on a lot of commercials now.

Wonderland


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Vince Schlomi's victim!

She looks like a real winner.

To be fair to the prostitute (god I wish I could end the sentence there) it looks like she's trying to show off the damage he did in that picture.

Wait...now I'm confused...

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He looks haggard in a way that I've only seen meth addicts get.  That would certainly explain the crazy behavior and violent outbursts.

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WHO FRENCH KISSES A PROSTITUTE!?!?

Wonderland


WHO FRENCH KISSES A PROSTITUTE!?!?

Seems to me you know what you're talking about. I guess you never french kiss the prostitutes you get.

The Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Yes.
May I see it?
...No.

.. double post

The Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Yes.
May I see it?
...No.

Should have posted this before but...





I guess she didn't love his nuts.

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$1000?

Seems like a load of money

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how many Slap Chops did he have to sell to get enough money to.....

Buffalo Bill is defunct Jesus he was a handsome man
He used to ride on a white horse and shoot clay pigeons
1,2,3,4,5 just like that and what I want to know is how do you like your blue eyed boy now, Mister Death?"

thefunkygibbons


$1000?

Seems like a load of money

And don't forget the $750 a night hotel room. Apparently those ShamWOWs also soak up cash.

I haven't had a problem finding people to have sex with, but maybe when I'm a 44 year old infomercial spokesman I might be different, but I could still find ho's for cheaper than 1000 frogskins.

SchlongWOW

spocks_brow

STRAT


I guess Vinny Boy,  just ended his "15 minutes"! What a stupid idiot!!!!

It seems like his 15 minutes are just beginning.  I have a feeling he's gonna be on a lot of commercials now.

You wanna bet on that!
 
 

He was field testing the product on the absorption qualities of whore's blood and jism.

Wonderland


I haven't had a problem finding people to have sex with, but maybe when I'm a 44 year old infomercial spokesman I might be different, but I could still find ho's for cheaper than 1000 frogskins.

So when are we going out for these hos?

The Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Yes.
May I see it?
...No.

Hahahahaha!!!! THat's so funny! The mugshot is priceless too......Maybe he can use his revolutionary towel to soak up his dignity

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"Yeah man...they play a lot of notes" -Bryan Nichols, Jazz Pianist

I wonder if he tried to make bail arrangements and told his lawyer "You better hurry because i cant do this all day......"